A Complete A-Z Walkthrough of The iMediate Inc Mediation Process

Sydney Mitchell:

Hi. My name is Sydney Mitchell.

Matthew Brickman:

Hi, I’m Matthew Brickman, Florida Supreme court mediator. Welcome to the Mediate This! Podcast where we discuss everything mediation and conflict resolution.

(00:17):
Today I wanted to talk to you about the complete A to Z walkthrough of the iMediate Inc. Mediation Process. So let me just start with how to begin the process. So first, everything that you’re going to need to get started in the mediation process, whether that is a paternity action or whether that is a divorce, or whether that might be even a modification. Everything can be found on my website iMediate Inc. That’s where everything can be found, or iChat mediation.com. So either or, that’s where everything can be found for you. So let me first tell you, where would you go on the website? ’cause there’s lots of different places to go on the website. So the first place you would go is go to the homepage, go to iChat mediation.com, and scroll down to about the middle of the page. And you will see that there is, um, my picture.

(01:20):
It’s a picture of me, and it actually right below that, it says, self-representation in divorce and paternity matters. And right to the right of that is a big blue button that says Learn more. So if you click on that, there’s a page dedicated for you, the general public, the consumer, um, whether you have an attorney or not, this is a page full of information to empower yourself. So it talks about the difference between doing it, uh, doing the divorce, paternity action, yourself, cost and time versus hiring counsel. Um, it’s got a, you know, four point bullet, uh, of, you know, what to expect if you’re gonna do this, uh, process without attorneys. Um, there are three step-by-step guides that I’ve created that break down the timeline, the cost, the process. Um, and so there’s one guide for doing a divorce. There’s one guide for doing a paternity action, and there’s one guide for doing a modification action.

(02:23):
So right below there, if this is an original action, if it’s a paternity or a divorce, not a modification, and if there are minor children involved, then statutorily you have to take a parenting class. And so I’ve got a banner on that same page, um, by a, uh, company called Cervia. And you click on that, you then sign up, you get a discount, uh, through the banner, and you can take your online parenting class. That certificate of completion, both, uh, parents have to take it, both parents have to then complete the course and have their own certificate of completion to file. Uh, that is required. You cannot not do that if you have minor children. Um, right below there, um, I have your mediation packets. So whether it’s a divorce of paternity or a modification, um, all of the packets that are required, all the required documents to prep yourself before mediation, they are all on that page for mediation packets.

(03:32):
Um, so if you, uh, click on the button that says packets, it will take you then to all the different packets. There’s instructions. And so the first packet is for a simplified disillusion of marriage. Um, that basically is if you have been married for less than a minute, you have no assets, no liabilities, no children. Uh, basically you got married, went on your honeymoon, came back, got divorced, um, then okay, great, simplified disillusion of marriage. And there’s a packet. Now, right below each of the packets is an audio tutorial where I will take you through the entire, uh, packet, um, so that, uh, you can complete the paperwork on your own. The next packet is a disillusion of marriage without children and property. So if you’re getting divorced, but you have not accumulated any assets or liabilities and have no children, well then there is the petitioner packet and the respondent packet.

(04:29):
So the difference between the two packets, um, petitioner packet, you got a few extra documents to fill out. Also, if you are not able to reach an agreement in mediation, and you do want to go to court and let a judge decide, well, the petitioner gets to talk first. Um, also if, um, one party wants to file for a divorce paternity action and the other party is not cooperating, then one party may want to choose to be the, uh, petitioner. They will file their documents, serve the other party, and then the respondent has to play along. Um, or potentially they could have a motion for default entered, um, which is never a good idea. But, um, that may be why you want to be the petitioner. Now, do not get hung up on, oh my gosh, the petitioner asked for this. Oh my gosh, why are they asking for all of this?

(05:16):
Think of the petitioner packet and the respondent packet in this way. The petitioner packet is one party’s view of the world, and the respondent packet is the other party’s view of the world. So for example, the, the petitioner may say, I want everything. The respondent gets nothing. And then the respondent says, well, I want everything. And the petitioner gets nothing. Great. Don’t get hung up on that. That’s simply what you’re asking for initially. And if you don’t ask for something, they could be costly to then go back and ask for it later, um, and do an amended petition, uh, or counter petition. And so usually everybody throws everything against the wall and hopes it sticks. And then you come to mediation. So, you know, petitioner may say, I want a hundred percent time sharing, sole decision making. I want a million dollars in child support.

(06:03):
I want all the assets, and they’re gonna take all the debt. And then the respondent does the same exact thing, only opposite. And then they come to mediation and hey, guess what? You’re in the state of Florida. It’s 2024, the laws changed in 2023, it shared parental responsibility. There’s a rebuttable presumption of 50 50 timesharing child support. It’s a statutory calculation. It is what it is. Equitable distribution, date of marriage, date of filing, cut it in half, uh, unless there is premarital or, uh, marital dissipation and waste. There’s a few exceptions for a 50 50 split. Um, and when it comes to alimony, the petitioner, whoever’s asking for alimony, they have to prove their need and prove the other person’s ability to pay. And if they can’t do that, well then the calculator doesn’t matter. But if they can, well then we actually have a calculator now to then calculate what alimony will be.

(06:56):
So the process itself, whether it is a paternity action or a divorce, is actually really simple. Everything is spelled out in the statute. What makes this complicated is people, uh, but the process itself is actually quite simple. Um, so then the next packet is establishment of paternity. Uh, packet three. That is if, uh, two people are never married, they have a child, and that is the establishment of paternity for child support and time sharing and declaration of, uh, the adjudication of a father. The next one, four is a modification packet. So that can be a modification of timesharing, it can be a modification of alimony, it could be a modification of child support, but if there’s a modification action packet number four is going to be your choice. Then packet number five, that is a disillusion of marriage and divorce with assets and liabilities, but no minor children.

(07:52):
So, um, maybe that maybe the children are all grown and now the husband and wife are getting divorced. Okay, that would be their packet. Or let’s say for example, two people were married, they still, they don’t have kids yet. Okay, then fine, that would be their packet. And then packet six is disillusioned with children. So that’s a divorce. You got assets, you got liabilities, and you got minor children. That, uh, seems to be the most popular packet because people are accumulating things and having kids and then realizing this is not working before the children emancipate. And so number six seems to be, uh, other than paternity, uh, seems to be one of the most used packets. Um, again, all of those have audio tutorials for both the petitioner packet and the respondent packet. And so that is the first step is go get your packets, uh, download your packets, fill out the information.

(08:48):
The information that’s in your packet is the information that is necessary in order to create your paternity agreement or your, uh, MSA. So it’s important to fill that out prior to mediations to in order to have a successful mediation. So once you get your packet filled out, um, it can be filled out entirely. It could be notarized or it could be filled out, uh, mostly, but you may still have some questions. We can go over that in mediation. So then the next step will be then to look at the calendar on the website for availability. I work days, evenings, weekends. So find a slot that works good for you. Then you can click right above the calendar link. There is a click, or sorry, there is a button or three buttons actually for checking the calendar pricing and then navigation to the scheduler. So you can click on navigation to the scheduler.

(09:46):
There’s two forms. If you’re a law firm or not a law firm, then you fill out the form if you have issues. It says problems with this form. It says at the top and the bottom, use the Google form Sometimes for whatever reason, web traffic whatnot. Uh, the uh, form does not go through. You’re unsure if it goes through. So use the Google form, it always goes through, but fill out, uh, the information, uh, submit the form and then I receive the form. When I receive the form. Then I will schedule everything on my end, send you the login, links a letter of confirmation, send you your credit card authorization form through DocuSign. I will then put it on the calendar, and then you will get a reminder 10 days prior, since I have a 10 day cancellation policy, you’ll get a reminder at 9:00 AM 10 days prior to your mediation session that, Hey, today’s the last day to cancel.

(10:37):
It has to be mutually agreed upon to cancel. One party cannot unilaterally cancel. So today is the last day then to cancel without incurring a cancellation fee. Um, and if nobody cancels, well then great. The day of mediation, usually 30 minutes prior to our scheduled time, I will open up the platform so everybody can work out any kinks or bugs, audio issues, video issues that they may have so that at the, uh, scheduled time we can start. And uh, so then what happens? I start with my mediation opening and I’ve got, um, previous episodes where I go through, um, all of the pieces that I’m about to break down. So you can listen to those for details. But I’ll go through my mediation opening and then, um, we will start going through the petitioner packet and the respondent packet to see if there are any questions you have and also so that I’m familiar with the information of what we’re about to then negotiate.

(11:35):
Um, so then what do we do as far as then the negotiation process? So we have an acronym in mediation called peace, P-E-A-C-E. Big surprise, we’re mediating and it’s peace. So the PP where we start generally as parenting. And so we will start with the parenting issues and the parenting plan. I’ve got previous episodes where I have gone in depth line item by line item through parenting plans. Um, also there’s a previous episode where we discuss the most current laws in the state of Florida when it comes to, um, decision making and time sharing. Right now, just for a quick snippet, it is, uh, shared parental responsibility and decision making is the starting place. And there is a rebuttable presumption of 50 50 that is a starting place. Um, neither of those are end places. If you want to go through the factors in the statute and have a, an entire trial to try to avoid the rebuttable presumption, um, and the starting place of shared parental, that is your right to do so.

(12:40):
But that is the starting point, at least in the statute, in the state of Florida at the moment. Um, so we start with p then we go to e, e stands for equitable distribution. That’s where we divide up your assets and liabilities, your home retirement accounts, bank accounts, cars, personal items. Um, so that is where we go next. If it is a divorce, if it is not a divorce, um, then we do not go to e. Um, the A in a divorce then goes to alimony, uh, because we have to have a timesharing plan, we have to then have equitable distribution before then we can talk about alimony. So then we go to alimony, then we go to C, which is child support because alimony will affect child support. Listen to the previous episodes on alimony and child support to get the details. But then we go then to alimony.

(13:37):
Um, and if you can get through need and ability, then we have a calculator and we’ll discuss alimony after alimony. Then we go to child support. We run child support. Uh, child support is a statutory calculation. And then we go to E, which is everything else. So that might be attorney’s fees. It could be possibly a name change. Um, if a spouse is changing their name, of course, if this is a paternity action, we will simply do parenting, then we will do child support and everything else. Um, there is no equitable distribution in alimony. In a paternity action. If it is a modification action, depending on what is being modified, we will then address only what is being modified. Um, so if there is a, if somebody has filed a modification of time sharing, we are looking at modification of then we are negotiating the time sharing and the child support.

(14:34):
Um, if we are, um, doing child support only, we’re not touching the parenting plan, we are going to whatever the specific issue is in the, uh, modification action that has been filed. So then what happens? So once we get through mediation, if an agreement is reached, then I will upload that to DocuSign. Everybody electronically signs it. And then, um, if there is a case already open, then I do have the ability to electronically file the document with the court. Um, and if a case is not open, I do not have the ability to create a case because I do not represent either party. So then what happens? Well then at that point, you’re left with two options. You can either file your documents yourself or you can hire an attorney to file the documents for you. So what are the differences? Filing the documents yourself, you’ll tend and take them to the courthouse, pay the filing fee, and then you will, uh, work with the, uh, judicial assistant.

(15:37):
Once you get assigned to then coordinate and set your final hearing. If you use an attorney to file them, then what will happen is at the end of mediation, I will then email the documents to an attorney. They will then, uh, contact you for payment, sign the sign an agreement. It is a flat fee. It is not, uh, expensive. And then they will then set you for final hearing, file all your documents, and then you, uh, can be done without having to do anything yourself. Um, in the, uh, about 18 years that I have been, um, a mediator and done over 3,100 mediations, I have had two pro se litigants that chose to file their own agreements. Um, most pro se litigants will hire attorneys to file their agreements. They do not want to do it. They don’t know how to do it. They don’t want the headache of learning how to do it.

(16:33):
And so they will simply give it to the attorney, um, or I will then give it to the attorney. They will get set. So what are the timelines? Um, timelines if you choose to do your own final hearing, it could be anywhere between three to six months is what I have been told. If you hire the attorney, you can usually have it done within 30 to 45 days, if not sooner. But what happens if you do not reach an agreement in mediation? Well, if you don’t reach an agreement in mediation, well then, um, I will file a mediation conference report, um, or give that to you if me, if, uh, nothing has been opened yet. Uh, so that can be filed and it will simply say that you guys came, you guys negotiated, you guys paid the fee, no agreement was reached. And so at that point, then you can file that with the court and then you can start the legal process to eventually have a trial.

(17:26):
Um, in most jurisdictions at the moment, um, trials are being set about six to nine months out. So nothing is immediate. Um, and in most jurisdictions in the state of Florida, if you, um, come to mediation and you are not able to reach an agreement, then you can, uh, ask the court to set you for a trial. But usually 10 days prior to your trial, the judge will order you back to mediation to try to settle, uh, your case without the need of a trial. Um, the judges really don’t want to figure it out. They will if they have to, but they really want you to figure it out, get creative and create an agreement that you can live with. And where do you do that? You do that in a mediation session. So, um, that is the A to Z, how to do the mediation process with me at iMediate Inc. And I look forward to helping you in the future. And, uh, we’ll talk soon.

Matthew Brickman:
Occasionally Sydney and I will be releasing Q&A bonus episodes where we’ll answer your questions and give you a personal shoutout.

Sydney Mitchell:
If you have a comment or question regarding anything that we discuss, email us at info@ichatmediation.com that’s info@ichatmediation.com and stay tuned to hear your shout out and have your question answered here on the show.

Matthew Brickman:

For more information about my services or to schedule your mediation with me, either in person or using my iChatMediation Virtual Platform built by Cisco Communications. Visit me online at www.iMediateInc.com. Call me at 561-262-9121, Toll-Free at 877-822-1479 or email me at MBrickman@iChatMediation.com.