Did I Miss Something? Beating Expectations In Divorce Mediation

Sydney Mitchell:

Hi. My name is Sydney Mitchell.

Matthew Brickman:

Hi, I’m Matthew Brickman, Florida Supreme court mediator. Welcome to the Mediate This! Podcast where we discuss everything mediation and conflict resolution.

Matthew Brickman:
So today I wanna talk to you under the title of Did I Miss Something? So I recently conducted a divorce mediation and , it took about five or six hours. The husband and the wife did not have counsel. We dealt with, all the issues that we normally deal with, with equitable distribution of assets and liabilities. We had a marital home. They did not have children, so we did not have to deal with the parenting planner, child support, um, had to deal with alimony and, um, so again, you know, took a number of hours, but we got everything done. The next day, the husband and the wife took all of their paperwork to a local attorney to file on their behalf, and within a week and a half, they were scheduled for their final hearing. So it did not take long from the time we did mediation until the time that they got divorced.

Matthew Brickman:
The day before the divorce actually took place though, I received a phone call from one of the parties asking me did I miss something? So this particular person had talked to their family, had talked to their friends, had talked to their coworkers, and all of ’em were shocked at how fast and how smooth and easy the entire divorce process took. And so the party called me and said, did I miss something? Like is everything binding? Is everything, you know, is the house still gonna be refinanced? Am I still going to get my money? Is this happening and that happening? And so, um, what I explained to the party is, yes, it can be this fast, this easy, this inexpensive, and this peaceful, um, as you transition to the next phase of your life. So on average, when attorneys are involved, it can take, not always, but the average divorce mediation, or actually, sorry, the divorce process itself can take an average of 22 months.

Matthew Brickman:
So almost two years of your life. And so a lot of people hear those stories, they hear, oh my gosh, this is dragging out and we’re still fighting and things still aren’t done, and we’re struggling through a parenting plan, and we had this hearing and that hearing, and they’re wanting more documents and we’ve got depositions and we’ve got all these things going on in the legal process. Um, that is the typical story that people hear. What a lot of people don’t hear is, wow, we did it ourselves. It cost about $2,000 and we were divorced within a couple of weeks. That’s not the typical story that a lot of people share. Um, so with this particular person, they had called and said, well, you know, did I miss something? Because this is just so easy and so painless, and all of my friends and family are going well.

Matthew Brickman:
So is this really a legal binding contract? Is this really gonna happen after the divorce is finalized? Am I still going to get my money because the home hasn’t been sold yet? So even though we go in front of the judge and we get divorced, well now what? And so I explained to this person, I said, okay. So yes, as of the date of mediation, when the two of you signed your agreement, you have a legal binding contract under contract law. So whether it takes a week or whether it takes six months to get in front of the judge, you have a legal binding contract. So all the terms that were negotiated are still going to go through and happen. The difference is you just can’t go get remarried yet, but you still have a contract with all the things that were contracted to in mediation and negotiated.

Matthew Brickman:
The difference though is after these two people go in front of the judge, their contract becomes a judicial order, the judge will stamp it, make it a judicial order, they are officially divorced, and now they can go out and get remarried if they so choose. Now, neither of these people are seeking to do that, but the one question was, well, once we get divorced, am I losing the rights to my home? Because I know in the mediation agreement we said that I’m entitled to 50%, but once we’re divorced, am I losing that? No, you’re not losing that. I told her, I said, you have a legal binding contract and it’s just gonna be a judicial order, where now it’s enforceable by the family court. Um, but your contract is still valid now you can just go get divorced. And so, uh, this particular person was so pleased at just how fast and how smooth.

Matthew Brickman:
Um, they said how fair. Um, it seemed that I was balanced between the two of them telling them things that they wanted to hear, things that they didn’t want to hear. But that is my job as a mediators to be neutral and tell both parties certain things that they want to hear and maybe certain things that they do not want to hear. Um, but my job is to give information so that people can then make their own informed decision regarding their assets, their liabilities, their homes, children, um, alimony. They can make their own decisions. I’m not there to talk anybody into something or talk anybody out of something. I am there simply as a mediator, number one, first and foremost to provide information so that people are empowered to take control of their lives, help people, people negotiate and help people get through their necessary legal paperwork.

Matthew Brickman:
And so did she miss anything? No, she did not miss anything. She is one of the many that I deal with, but maybe the few that most people hear about, um, which can move through the divorce process quickly, inexpensively, and peacefully. And so for those of you out there that are looking for that type of transition, inexpensive, expeditious, and peaceful, then call me or email me. Go onto my website, listen to the podcast, gain the information necessary, uh, prior to scheduling your mediation. And then I will certainly help you like I did that couple, get through this process quickly, inexpensively and peacefully so you can move on with your life.

Matthew Brickman:
Occasionally Sydney and I will be releasing Q & A bonus episodes where we will answer questions and give you a personal shout out.

Sydney Mitchell:
If you have a comment or question regarding anything that we discuss, email us at info@ichatmediation.com that’s info@ichatmediation.com and stay tuned to hear your shout out and have your question answered here on the show.

Matthew Brickman:

For more information about my services or to schedule your mediation with me, either in person or using my iChatMediation Virtual Platform built by Cisco Communications. Visit me online at www.iMediateInc.com. Call me at 561-262-9121, Toll-Free at 877-822-1479 or email me at MBrickman@iChatMediation.com.