Mediate This! 94. Do I Have An Advantage If I Initiate The Divorce?
We answer your questions on parenting plans, child visitation, child education, schools, parental rights, divorce, paternity and more…
A listener writes in and asks, “Does the person who initiates a divorce bear any other advantage aside from that they may be better prepared?” Matthew Brickman answers your most frequently asked questions about divorce as he goes over several key points:
- Assume nothing.
- Know who you are before you get married.
- Know who you’re getting married to.
- Know the laws and statutes in the state you live in.
- Don’t take advice from anyone who isn’t a legal professional in the state in which you’re getting married and living in.
As discussed in previous episodes Matthew Brickman and Sydney Mitchell have told their separate personal stories and experiences with divorce and conflict. Both unique and completely different. If you have a matter, disagreement, or dispute you need professional help with then visit iMediate.com – Email mbrickman@ichatmediation or Call (877) 822-1479
The Mediate This! divorce & paternity podcast is hosted by Matthew Brickman and Sydney Mitchell
Their advice will help you deal with:
• Divorce (contested/uncontested with/without children, property, assets, debts)
• Parental Rights
• Paternity Cases and Rights
• Parenting
• Child Custody (Timesharing)
• Alimony and Spousal Support
• Child Support and Arrears
• Document Assistance
• Visitation
• Prenuptial & Postnuptial Agreements
• Post-judgement Modifications
• Family Disputes
• Business & Contract Disputes
• Employment: Employer/Employee Disputes
• Real Estate: Landlord – Tenant Disputes
• In-person Mediation
• Online Virtual Mediation
If you have a matter, disagreement, or dispute you need professional help with then visit iMediate.com – Email mbrickman@ichatmediation or Call (877) 822-1479
Download Matthew’s book on iTunes for FREE:
You’re Not the Only One – The Agony of Divorce: The Joy of Peaceful Resolution
Matthew Brickman
President iMediate Inc.
Mediator 20836CFA
iMediateInc.com
Sydney Mitchell:
Hi. My name is Sydney Mitchell.
Matthew Brickman:
Hi, I’m Matthew Brickman, Florida Supreme court mediator. Welcome to the Mediate This! Podcast where we discuss everything mediation and conflict resolution.
I had a listener write in and ask, does a person who initiates the divorce have an advantage on the other side? And what, if anything, can they do to be better prepared? Sydney and I have said for, uh, years on the podcast that it is important to know the laws of your own state. So I’m gonna be talking just specifically about the state of Florida. So Florida currently is a NOFA state, which means that the court can grant a divorce without having to find anybody at fault. So you’ve got two sides. You’ve got the petitioner and the respondent. The petitioner is the one who files for divorce. The respondent, well, they’re the ones who get served, and they’re the other side that then answers, uh, to the petition that’s filed. So, is there any advantage? The only advantage that I would see is if the parties are not able to come to a resolution and they end up in front of a judge.
Well, the petitioner gets to talk first. Other than that, there’s no real advantage versus disadvantage of who the petitioner is. Now, the petitioner, uh, they have to fill out the petitioner packet, and there are, there are few extra documents to fill out in the packet. Then the respondent, uh, may have to fill out. So usually it’s like, you know, if I get a call from from parties, I’m like, okay, well, you know, who’s better at filling out documents, then you might want to be the petitioner. Also, if the respondent is dragging their feet, not really wanting to move this thing along, um, whatnot, well then somebody may wanna be the petitioner because then they can file it, serve it, and then the respondent, uh, has a certain amount of days to then respond. Um, otherwise they may get a default entered against him or her.
And so, um, if you wanna move the case along from the onset, well then you may want to be the petitioner. Some may say that that is an advantage. Um, but other than that, there really is no advantage or disadvantage to being the, uh, petitioner. Now in a final hearing, let’s say for example, that two people come to, uh, mediation and they end up resolving everything while the petitioner and the respondent, the judge wants both of the parties to be there, but the petitioner has to be there. Uh, now I have seen in the past a few instances where actually the petitioner wasn’t there. The respondent was, but that’s only because the respondent didn’t just file an answer, but filed a counter petition. And so since they filed a counter petition, well then they could be the only one there. Um, the other thing is if, um, if one party is changing their name, and I’ve had it where the wives generally are the ones changing their name, but I did have a mediation once where the husband was changing his name because he thought it’d be progressive to take on her name.
So, uh, he took her name and then the divorce, he wanted his name back. But if you’re doing a name change, well then you have to show up. Doesn’t matter if you’re the petitioner or the respondent, you have to show up to, uh, your final hearing because you have to swear that you are who you are and that you’re changing your name back to whatever it was. Um, so you know, does the, uh, petitioner have an advantage maybe in some states, not in the state of Florida? And how do you become better prepared? Well know the laws in your state. Um, it’s pretty simple for all 50 states. You can simply Google your state and then family law statute, and it’ll pull up and you can read through, see what the laws are, or you can always reach out to an attorney if you need legal advice.
Sydney Mitchell:
If you have a comment or question regarding anything that we discuss, email us at info@ichatmediation.com that’s info@ichatmediation.com and stay tuned to hear your shout out and have your question answered here on the show.
Matthew Brickman:
For more information about my services or to schedule your mediation with me, either in person or using my iChatMediation Virtual Platform built by Cisco Communications. Visit me online at www.iMediateInc.com. Call me at 561-262-9121, Toll-Free at 877-822-1479 or email me at MBrickman@iChatMediation.com.
ABOUT
MATTHEW BRICKMAN
Matthew Brickman is a Florida Supreme Court certified family and appellate mediator who has worked in the 15th and 19th Judicial Circuit Courts since 2009 and 2006 respectively.
He was also a county civil and dependency mediator who mediated hundreds of small claims, civil and child-related cases. Matthew was a certified Guardian Ad Litem with the 15th Judicial Circuit. He recently completed the Harvard Law School Negotiation Master Class which is strictly limited to 50 participants and the Harvard Business School’s Negotiation Mastery program as one of the 434 high-level professionals in a student body from across the globe, all with multiple degrees and certifications from the most prestigious institutions.
