11. Your Mediator Prepares For Your Mediation In Ways You Wouldnt Believe [STORIES]

Sydney Mitchell:

Hi. My name is Sydney Mitchell.

Matthew Brickman:

Hi, I’m Matthew Brickman, Florida Supreme court mediator. Welcome to the Mediate This! Podcast where we discuss everything mediation and conflict resolution.

Sydney Mitchell:
Welcome everybody that’s listening in today. Matthew and I are going to be chatting a little bit about the preparation process for mediation. In our past episodes, if you’ve been listening in, we’ve kind of been laying the foundation for Matthew, your role as a mediator, the four D’s that lie at the root of most conflict. So really getting to understand why conflicts even arise. What does that look like? The four steps to resolving conflict with a person, different tones that are set in the home, discovering how we view conflict and how we can better approach conflict, how to negotiate conflict. I mean, we’ve really covered a vast majority of topics that really set a good foundation for understanding Matthew, what you really do as a mediator. Today, we’re going to be discussing your preparation for mediation. Matthew, take it away. What does your preparation process look like?

Matthew Brickman:
We’re going to pull the curtain back on the wizard and you get to see how do I actually prepare, what goes into my preparation. We’ve talked as you mentioned, but you know, my primary job as a mediator, once I’m there is to empower the parties. But to me, my most important job as the mediator is for me to actually be prepared to mediate. What does that look like? So on very, very few occasions, one of the attorneys, or even the parties, if they’re pro se will email me documents to review prior to the mediation. Okay. I feel obligated because they did send them to me. Even I feel obligated to review them because, you know, they were sent over to help expedite the mediation process itself. But I’ll tell you Sydney, honestly, I hate reading the documents not because it’s time consuming, but I hate reading them because if the attorneys are going to send me the documents, it’s really a one-sided account of the issues.

Matthew Brickman:
And generally, if from the attorney, it’s their legal opinion of the case as well. You know, these are generally legal positions and in mediation we focus on the party’s interests, not so much on their rights and entitlements, if they want to fight for their rights and entitlements, well, that’s what they go to court for. Now. That’s not to say that someone’s not going to get something that they may be entitled to in court in a mediation agreement, but in mediation, that’s not where we argue about what each person’s entitled to. We focus on what’s in their best interest. So it goes back to when we discussed in one of the previous episodes about the limit, right? Remember the limit, you love that story. So for those of the, for those of you that don’t remember, or haven’t heard it, um, you know, Sydney, you may be entitled to half the limit, but you know, talking about why you want the limit is based on your interests.

Matthew Brickman:
And it’s important to understand the power of the court and the rights and entitlements though, prior to mediation, because that will give the parties a good foundation to negotiate from, as we focus on what’s in their best interest. So they need to know, well, the court would generally do this or generally do that, then they know, okay, well, these are the parameters that I should be focusing on. So to give you a quick example, after 2011 in Florida, they got rid of primary and secondary parenting. Um, people used to come to mediation even like in 2012, 2013, 2014, going, I want to be the primary parent. And it’s like, okay, primary parent doesn’t exist. Well, if they actually knew the primary parent didn’t exist, they wouldn’t come in asking for it. So it’s important to me that no one’s getting awarded primary parent. It doesn’t exist. People would argue, I want custody of the child and I, I still hear it. I actually heard it last week. I got a phone call and the father goes, well, you know, I don’t want to give her custody. I’m like, great. You don’t have to, it doesn’t exist. Um, so, you know, knowing, knowing what the rights and entitlements are, the power of court, uh, looks like it gives people a good basis to negotiate.

Sydney Mitchell:
Okay. So as we, as we really like get into the nuts and bolts of how you prepare for the mediation, I want to go back to, you mentioned, that you’re sent in documentation. And before you show up on the day of your mediation to review about, about, you know, what’s going on, I just would imagine, I mean, your role is to be you’re in a, you’re the neutral, neutral third party. Um, so how I just would imagine it would be so challenging, like you said, you don’t like reading the documentation. Does it give you a bias? Like, does it, does it make it challenging to show up 100% neutral?

Matthew Brickman:
Well, and, and, you know, you know, remember in one of the past episodes, um, we had talked about when you came with me to mediation and we were going back and forth between the room and you’re like, well, how do you know what’s true? Like, how do you know the truth? Remember then yeah.

Sydney Mitchell:
Yeah. It’s like you hear from two different parties, completely, very emotionally charged sides of the story. And it’s like, how do you know what to believe?

Matthew Brickman:
Right. And so getting these documents, they can, they, they really are damaging to my neutrality because it’s almost like it’s almost like the attorney is sending me going, well, this is the truth. This is my truth. Remember we talked about who know your truth, your truth may be completely wrong. Right. So, so, you know, yes, they, you know, given me documents ahead of time while it could sorta kind of expedite the process, you’re almost trying to have the mediator form an opinion before even walking in the room to mediate. And that can be very damaging. Um, so what I’ve learned as a mediator is when there’s attorneys involved and the parties send documents, um, usually those, those documents are filed months prior to finally coming into mediation. Um, sometimes, you know, the parties have spoken since they originally filed, or the attorneys have spoken or even done some preliminary negotiations.

Matthew Brickman:
Uh, maybe they went through some of the other legal processes, like taking depositions. Um, maybe they, you know, sometimes people have gone to mediation with a different mediator and then I get them right before they actually see the judge, whether that’s for a short hearing, um, or whether that’s for, um, you know, temporary relief, which is a short hearing, or even their final hearing in front of the judge, you know, lots of things can happen. So what I’ve done is I basically skim the documents to pull out the pertinent information so that I can simply pre-draft the parties agreement. And I know the basic facts, not the attorney’s opinions of the case. And so, you know, some of the things I look for is like, okay, is it a paternity or is it a disillusion of marriage? I need to know that because I need to know what document I’m, I’m preparing.

Matthew Brickman:
Um, are there children involved, you know, that these are some of the important pieces. Um, is there a claim for alimony? What about child support? Is there, uh, assets and liabilities to distribute? Um, it is the case just about financials and there’s no kids involved. So like I previously mentioned, you know, um, maybe they’ve gone to mediation or had a hearing, and I’d like to know where they are in the judicial process, not necessarily what a judge rule or what were their opinions or what did they do at that hearing, but where are they in the process? And so that’s about all I look at, you know, cause, uh, like I said, a lot can take place between the initial filing of the petition. And then when they’re sitting in mediation with me, so to read what each of them have filed back and forth on each other. And usually it does not give me an accurate picture of where the people are on the day of mediation when they get to the negotiation table. So if I look at this document as you know, their truth, right, then absolutely I can lose neutrality and start forming opinions and biases long before I even meet the parties and find out where they are on that day of mediation. And that can be very damaging to the entire outcome of the parties.

Sydney Mitchell:
Right. I mean, so since you’re a neutral third party, I mean, I think about, you know, another example of a neutral third party is like a counselor or a therapist. So I imagine, let’s say I go to my counselor therapist, I show up, they haven’t, I mean, assuming I had never seen them before, they have no idea what I’m about to bring up. And it’s almost like the same thing for you. I mean, outside of this documentation, you don’t, you know, ideally you don’t know people at all, um, you know, ideally so that you can be neutral. Um, I mean, in all honesty, like what else can you really do to prepare other than obviously you have your experience, you have your education and your knowledge, but other than that, I mean for each, um, for each specific party, is there anything else that you really can do?

Matthew Brickman:
Well, you know, one of the things that, that I do, um, personally, um, and we’ve talked about our upbringing and being in the church and our belief in God is, you know, so in the morning when I get up, I pray for the parties. Um, I pray for the attorneys before I ever leave the house and get to mediation. Um, I pray that God gives me humility and wisdom. You know, if I walk into that mediation, all proud and high on my horse, like I know everything, you know, pride comes before the fall and I don’t want to be falling when I need to be helping. And so I come in number one, very humble that I’ve even been chosen to be the person who is there to help the people in their most desperate hour. I mean, it probably is their darkest hour of their life.

Matthew Brickman:
And I, I am very humble that I’m the person that gets to be that light on that darkest day to be that person who can guide and help navigate them through this legal process. But also I pray for wisdom because, you know, I can’t take his side or her side or his truth or her truth. I need wisdom to be able to discern what, what, what I need to even say, because, you know, remember in, in, in the episode where we were talking a couple episodes back when we were talking about the rain scenario, when I use the word stuck in escape, like who wants to be stuck in the rain who would like to escape the right, even the words that I say can have a huge impact on the parties. I need wisdom on what am I going to say? And so those are two things that I pray for that, um, that can really make a difference in the family that I’m going to be mediating for. You know, I pray that God gives me the words to speak, you know? Um, and then he gives the parties hope in peace. Um, it long before they even show up that, you know, they, they have a sense of, wow. Today may be a good day. I may reach resolution today. Um, and you know, I pray that God will let them know that look, he has not left them or forgotten them through this dark hour.

Sydney Mitchell:
Preach it, preach it.

Matthew Brickman:
Yeah. So, you know, as I stated in previous episodes, you know, mediation to me is not a job. I mean, it is not a job. It’s my mission is what I have been created to do on however long I’m on this planet. I look at every single mediation, again, as an honor to be chosen, to help people that are sitting in front of me and this, these helped me get my head and my heart in check. So I have the right frame of mind and can retain full neutrality as I walk into a mediation conference. Um, and it’s so imperative that any biases that I may have never ever enter the mediation room.

Sydney Mitchell:
Well, it’s so encouraging to hear that you approach what you do with that tip of heart, you know, um, you know, you’ve talked a little bit about your story, you know, you’ve been divorced and you were in, in court, you know, 43 times, you know, so you’ve lived this. And so I love that, that, you know, your past experience, um, you know, and the things that you’ve overcome in your past are really what fuel you to do what you do. Um, and so I’m just really encouraged to hear that does it, but I want to ask, like, does it ever become, I mean, if I had to step in your life for the day and be you, I mean, I would be so nervous out of my mind, just because of the weight of what you, um, you not only have to do, but get to do. I mean, your role here, you know, for their futures is, is, I mean, it’s, it’s huge. And, and again, I’m not, I’m not imposing pressure, but do you ever feel that pressure? Does it ever feel like a lot of weight to carry, um, you know, as you, as you do what you do?

Matthew Brickman:
Yeah. I mean, when I, when I go into mediation, I leave nothing of may on the table. Like it is poured out. Like, I mean, I will, I, there like every ounce of who I am spiritually, emotionally, psychologically educationally, like, I mean, I will pour myself out and leave nothing inside and everything on the table for these parties, because yeah. I mean, I have been given the opportunity to potentially change generations. You know, we’ve talked about the tone that mediation consent, you know? Yeah. There’s a tone in the family, but then mediation is there to set a new tone. And yeah, it’s, I mean, again, it’s not a job, you know, for, for those people out there that are looking for a mediator to find one that is just something to do. You know, most mediators are retired teachers, social workers, lawyers, judges, they, you know, it’s something to do.

Matthew Brickman:
Or a lot of attorneys, a lot of my great attorneys I’ve worked now. Um, I just, I just got scheduled, met a new attorney, number 600. I have worked with 600 attorneys along with a lot of attorneys are getting certified as mediators, but they do it every now and then, you know, they know how to mediate because they sit as the attorney in mediation. It’s so much more than just a job to me. I mean, it is who I am and what I’ve been created for. And again, I just, yeah, it is a heavy, heavy weight that I carry in. Um, and I’ll tell you a walking out of mediation, there’s no heavy cause I’m poured out. There’s nothing left. Yeah. Um, then, and then I go home and I recharge to do it again.

Sydney Mitchell:
Yeah. That’s a job that you can’t really take your work home with you, huh?

Matthew Brickman:
No, no. I mean, and, and you know what, Sydney bed is the good that, you know, that is the good thing is, is there is no homework. There is no like, like I leave everything of me in that room and I go back and I recharge, but you know what, you know, going back to, you know, what do I do in the morning when I get up? And I pray for the parties I have to spiritually be filled before I can pour myself out. If I’m empty, I got nothing to get, you know? And so for me, it’s important. My relationship with God is very important because I have to be filled in order to pour and, you know, it’s important, you know, that’s that again is the seriousness that I take on this job. You know, the Bible says, bless it as a peacemaker. Yeah. But you know what? They are few and far between in this world these days.

Sydney Mitchell:
Sure. Well, it’s yeah. I mean, it’s, it’s just really encouraging to hear you. I’m curious, you talk about that, you know, that it’s, it’s from the Lord that you find your strength and ability to do what you do. And, and I think that’s what makes you unique in what you do if I’m being really honest. Um, but we do have some more content to cover. So I’ve got another question for you. Sorry. I’m always just like shooting questions at you like bullets. Um, okay. So I’m thinking again about the time that I got to observe a mediation with you. Um, you got to sit down with each party and they were in separate rooms, but you gave like a little speech, uh, you know, for a couple of minutes in the beginning with each party, just kinda talking about, um, kind of some, some, some foundation of kind of what your role is, what you’d be doing. Like talk, talk about that, what that is.

Matthew Brickman:
Okay. So as a Florida Supreme court certified mediator, um, I am required to do my opening statement every mediation. Um, and so my statement, uh, which I’ll give you in a moment actually lays the ground rules for mediation. Um, it explains to the parties, what my role is and also what role they play and what role the attorneys play if they have one. And so once everybody knows how mediation works and everybody’s roles and the process of mediation, then we can begin the mediation process. But I have to give that speech first.

Sydney Mitchell:
Is it more common? So like, like I mentioned, when, when I heard you give that speech, it was with each party individually in a separate room, is it more common that the parties are separated or are they, you know, most often together? I mean, I would think if, you know, the mom and the dad are in the same room, it would faster. Um, but you know what, what’s more common. Yeah.

Matthew Brickman:
So, um, you know what it seems to be usually when the parties are pro se, I would say probably 99%. So I guess that’s more than usual, right? I’m not good at math, but 99% of the time of the parties do not have attorneys. They are in the same room. Okay. Um, I would say it’s, it’s, it’s a very high percentage. I’m not sure what it would be off the top of my head, but it’s a very high percentage when attorneys involved that we are in separate groups. Um, well, you know what it’s, it depends. Um, I mean, I, I tell the parties when, when I begin, I tell them it is going to be cheaper. It is going to be faster and it’s going to be more effective if we can all get in the same room together. Not everybody wants to, not everybody can, sometimes the attorneys don’t want the parties in the same room.

Matthew Brickman:
Sometimes the parties don’t want to be in the same room and it’s not my mediation. It’s not, my day is day. And so my prep is to simply say, Hey, look, if you want to be in separate rooms, know that this is going to be twice as long and twice as expensive, because I’m going to have to go and talk with you and your room, but I’m gonna have to come over and I’m gonna tell you what they said and that I need to find out your response. And they were going to talk about what you want. Now I have to go tell them. Yeah. I mean, yeah. And, and, you know, as a mediator, that’s where my role almost starts to shift from mediator to facilitator because all of a sudden, I’m not really mediating, I’m facilitating and I become more or less a messenger person.

Sydney Mitchell:
I would say you’re almost like a telephone it’s like playing telephone.

Matthew Brickman:
Yeah. And so, you know, I like, I personally, like when everybody’s in the same room, um, one of the things I have noticed Sydney since we’ve been doing everything, virtual is people are more apt to stay together when they’re virtual, which I like, because, you know, they are in the safety, comfort and convenience of their own home or office. And so to be in a virtual conference where we can all see each other and talk is fine, and we can do that. Most of the mediation, like the other day I had one and, you know, the father said like on three or four different occasions, Hey, can I go into a private room and talk to my attorney real quick? Yeah. So I’m controlling the whole system. I put them in a private room. We go in there, we talk. He’s like, okay. He, he, you know, he was able to talk through the issues and like, yeah, okay, ready to go back in the room.

Matthew Brickman:
And we went back in the main conference room. And so he gives you the opportunity. It’s incredible, you know, and I’ve had it for 11 years. I mean, I’ve been doing virtual mediations long before COVID-19. Um, so it helps that I know the system, I know my system that Cisco built me. I know how to use it. And you know, yet really took out any learning curve that I’d have like, Oh my gosh, I need to figure this out. I’ve been doing it so long. Um, but yeah, I mean, um, so, so yeah, I mean, it is, it is better to be in the same room, but not everybody, sometimes there’s, you know, there’s no contact orders, restraining orders, um, you know, some people just emotionally don’t want to sit across the table from the person they’re arguing with. But, um, but yeah, I mean, I, I like to have people in the same room as much as possible.

Matthew Brickman:
Um, but you know, when I arrived to mediation, my other job, you know, behind the scenes is to set the room. Whether, you know, this is, this of course is not a virtual room. This is when we’re in a real physical location it’s to set the room. Um, so, you know, I pick my seat and then I plant earlier than everybody else. Yeah. Yeah. And so I picked my seat, I planned for where everyone else is going to sit. Um, if we’re in separate rooms, then I’m arranging the room as well. And basically it was almost like I’m a designer, I’m staging the room, but what I’m staging it for is safety, security, and productivity. So, so for example, I’ll give you an example. If I know that there has been issues of high conflict, I will generally sit away from the door and I will put the, um, like, say, say, for example, there’s been some abuse in the marriage.

Matthew Brickman:
I’ll put the husband on my left side, his attorney next to him, and then I’ll put the wife across the table by the door and her attorney closest to me. So if there’s, so if there’s ever any aggression, she can make it out of the room. And his attorney is there to block him so that he can’t get her. And so, I mean, little things like that, just stating where people are going to sit, that’s something else for safety and security. You know, sometimes I will put the parties on the same side of the table together and put their attorneys across from each of their client, because I know that the parties have been getting along. And if the parties are sitting across the table from each other, it creates a, a, um, him versus her mentality. Whereas they’re sitting on the same side of the table, there’s collaborative, there’s there’s collaboration.

Speaker 4:
It really is like a psychological side. Cytolysis Oh yeah. So these are some of the things

Matthew Brickman:
When people arrive to mediation, they have no idea that I’ve been staging this room.

Speaker 4:
I had no idea. We’ve been talking about this for how long,

Matthew Brickman:
So, you know, and, and so because of the four DS that, you know, we had discussed and, and, and, uh, one of the first episodes, mediation is a place to begin to address these issues in a productive manner. So the parties can move forward and try to create a peaceful and a hopeful future for them and their kids right now, being safe, being separate. Like we talked about where then I’m just a messenger, really doesn’t allow for the parties to directly address the issues in a controlled environment. And I tell the parties, look, if you want to be separate, fine, but guess what your attorney is not always going to be here. I’m not going to be here. And eventually the two of you are going to have to communicate. So why don’t we start now in a controlled environment? Sometimes they’re like, Oh, I hadn’t thought about that.

Matthew Brickman:
Yeah. Okay. Let’s try it. Sometimes they still just say no, like, you know, they just say no. And you know, what is sad? Is that a breakdown or lack of communication got the parties into mediation because there are obviously arguing. And then when the parties are prevented by their attorneys, or they refuse on their own to be in the same room, the opportunity to attack the problem together, instead of attacking one another, well, that’s lost. And that’s a shame. I mean, you know, it really is. Um, because after mediation and in the future, um, when I’m not there every single day and the attorneys are not there every single day, the judge who may decide the fate of their parties, if they get that far, you know, we talked about the different stages of resolving conflict. Well, if they have not been given the tools to properly communicate and given an opportunity to use those tools in a controlled environment, then they’re gonna most likely end up back in mediation because you know, they’re going to miss getting details in the agreement, the parenting plan that they needed. And, you know, things are going to get lost in translation. As we talked about like playing telephone,

Speaker 5:
All right, Matthew, would you give us, would you be willing to read your opening?

Matthew Brickman:
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All right. So here’s my opening statement. My name is Matthew Breckman. I am a Florida Supreme court mediator. I am not here to give you legal advice. I’m not here to tell you what you should or should not do with your life as your mediator. I have three jobs and three goals. My primary most important job is to empower each of you as the decision maker, because at mediation, the two of you are in charge, not me or your attorney. You are in charge. You get to agree to do whatever you want. Mediation, as long as there’s not a law that says it, what you want to do is illegal. So the idea is to get creative and create an agreement that you can live with. So the only agreement I’m going to let you sign. If you can’t live with it, I’m not letting you sign it.

Matthew Brickman:
I am here to empower you and help you get creative. That means I may tell you things you want to hear. I may tell you things you don’t want to hear, but my job is to empower you in mediation. You always have to be aware of the power of the court would make a decisions, because if you choose not to settle well, that’s your choice. But then you’re going to be surrendering that decision, making authority to a judge for him or her to decide. So just know that in mediation, we live in the shadow of the law and you were in charge to decide your life. My second job, as your mediators facilitate a conversation between the two of you. And my third job is to take you through your necessarily legal paperwork. My three goals as your mediator is to help you get through this process as quickly inexpensively and as peacefully as possible.

Matthew Brickman:
But like I said, that’s up to you because you are in charge. I’m in mediation. Everything we talk about is kept private and confidential and not to be shared with anyone outside of this mediation process at any time. The only thing in mediation is not confidential is if I find out that either of you were abusing somebody or committing a crime, I have to report that. Other than that, everything we talk about is confidential. If you want to talk to me privately, by all means ask, we can talk privately. Anything we talk about privately can also be confidential between us and not shared with the other party or any third party. So with that, do you have any questions? So that’s my opening statement that I have to give.

Sydney Mitchell:
Do you have them memorize or me? I would eat too. Yeah. I would certainly have to read that off of paper. Yeah,

Matthew Brickman:
No I haven’t. No, I’ve got that memorized and you’ll get it the same way, you know, for those of you that are listening to this, if you come to mediation, you’re going to get the same speech and I’m sure I’m sure that your attorneys are sitting there going, I’ve heard this speech over and over, but you know what? I am required as a Florida Supreme court mediator to give my opening statement, every single mediation and look Sidney. Remember when we went to mediation, I had to do that twice. I mean, I had to go into, I had to go talk to the husband and do it, and I had to go talk to the wife. So yeah.

Sydney Mitchell:
Did you write this opening statement? Like what are the, so every mediator writes their own. Yeah. Yeah. But just to include, you know,

Matthew Brickman:
I mean, we, we, we are required certain things that we have to say, and then just tailor, make, you know, tailor and, and this, this opening statement, Sydney has evolved over the 13 plus years that I’ve been mediating

Sydney Mitchell:
At the end. You ask people if they have any questions, what I’m curious, what are some of the questions that you most commonly get?

Matthew Brickman:
So usually usually people say no, but yeah, occasionally I’ll get well. So what constitutes a crime? And I’m like, really? Like, if you have to ask me what constitutes me reporting a crime, you probably shouldn’t tell me because it’s like my statement. If I find out vid, I have to report it. That’s funny. I have a quick story for you to wrap this up. I’ll give you a couple of little stories. So I did have a story when I was working small claims court. When I first started mediating, I was up in port, Saint Lucy in the courthouse, and I was doing a small claims court and actually found out that one of the guys was blackmailing had, had, had, had stolen. The guy’s stuff, was blackmailing him and had his stuff in storage. It wouldn’t give it back unless he would give them X amount of dollars.

Matthew Brickman:
Well, I find out about this and I had to go report it. Well, who do you report it to in the courthouse? I had to go tell the bailiff who took me into the judges chambers judge and the judge and the bailiff came into the mediation room and said, if you do not dismiss this and give him his stuff back, we’re going to arrest you right here on the spot. So it’s like, Oh my gosh. Yeah. So it was like, yeah, well, they told me that a crime was being committed. I had to report it to the authorities. And I had to tell the bailiff who was a sheriff. So, yeah. Um, alright, so, so many crazy situations. All right. So, so I have another story real quick, where a mother during mediation was texting her sister and then her sister was texting the father and threatening him. And I’m like, Oh my gosh, you’ve got to be kidding me.

Matthew Brickman:
So I’m going room to room. And then when I get over to the father’s room, his attorney says, you need to see this. And I’m like, well, who is that? As I said, it’s, it’s the mom’s sister. I’m like, you got kids. Take them out, family drama. So to wrap up this episode, I’ll tell you one more story. So I had a mom who had lost custody of her kids. This was pre 2011. So we had custody. She had lost custody of, of her two kids. She had a kid with the father. This was a paternity action. And we’re sitting in mediation and he is willing to give her time sharing, even though DCF took her other two kids away from her. And what does she do in the middle of this we’re negotiating, everything’s going fine. And all of a sudden he slammed his hand on the table and says, that’s it, I’m outta here.

Matthew Brickman:
And he gets up and walks out of the room and I’m like, what just happened? And so his attorney gets up and walks out and I’m like, we’re just having conversations. And he just gets upset, slammed his hand and walks out. So I go out in the hall and I’m like, what’s going on? And, and his attorney is, uh, looks at me and hands me, his cell phone and says, look at this. And I read the text and I’m like, who is this from? It’s the mom. She’s texting him across the table, as we’re all sitting in the mediation room together. And you know what, she texted him, Sydney boy, the mediator has really great teeth and a nice butt.

Matthew Brickman:
Right. And of course the end, of course, he’s sitting there giving her timeshare. Yeah. So he says, that’s it, I’m done. He says, we’re done with mediation. And he left the building. We walk back in and we get her attorney. We go out in the hall and her attorney goes, my client did what? And so the only way to get him to come back to mediation to drive back, cause he was like, I’m done was she had to agree to pay his attorney’s fees and all of my mediation fees in order for him to come back, she had to make a call and get two different people to borrow credit cards from her family to pay the attorneys and pay me just so he’ll come back. And so he came back, we finished up the mediation, but I had, I’m going, Oh my gosh, we need cellphone jammers at mediation. So these people can not be contacting their sisters,

Sydney Mitchell:
Contacting each other. I would say, you guys need like a little cell phone bucket at the door. Right.

Matthew Brickman:
So yeah, those, those are my crazy stories for this episode. I know. I know you love my crazy story.

Sydney Mitchell:
I feel like we need to have like a designated story time story,

Matthew Brickman:
An entire episode of nothing, but okay. I can top this story. I’ll top…

Sydney Mitchell:
Okay. Can we really? Oh, I would love that. Let’s think let’s play it. Oh my gosh. That’s so funny. Well, thank you Maddie, for really pulling back the curtains on what it really looks like to do, what you do on a day to day basis advantage it takes a special person and although it’s challenging and sometimes I’m sure it’s fun. Fun but also very rewarding.  And so thank you for your insight and your thoughts. Just looking forward to continue to discuss what it looks like to do mediation today.

Sydney Mitchell:
If you have a comment or question regarding anything that we discuss, email us at info@ichatmediation.com that’s info@ichatmediation.com and stay tuned to hear your shout out and have your question answered here on the show.